This is a common theme among married couples everywhere… not just those where the mom/wife stays at home, but even in some instances where the wife works outside the home.
In fact, I read about a working wife who at one time made $200,000.00 a year.
Notice I said, “at one time”. What happened?
She and her husband decided that he would sell their Microsoft stocks, the money would go into various savings accounts and that they’d live off her salary, which was MORE than enough to support the both of them.
Her husband was supposed to put her name on all four of the accounts, but he only had her name on ONE of them.
When she confronted him about it, he said he’d put her name on the remaining single accounts “when he got the chance“.
Well, I guess he never got the chance because it never happened. *side eye*
They ended up in divorce and she found herself with practically nothing.
Sadly, many of these types of situations occur – more so with stay-at-home wives and moms.
We get so caught up into taking care of the family and the home, we don’t bother with finding out what’s what in terms of finances.
What’s a wife to do when your husband controls ALL finances?
Thankfully, my husband has never been the type to DEMAND control over the money. In fact, on many occasions, he’s asked me to sit next to him and learn how he budgets the finances and pays the bills.
But from stories I’ve heard, I realize that this isn’t the case in many households.
Many women feel out of the loop or just totally shut out from all that goes on where money is concerned. And in many of those instances, it was due to control issues by husbands who don’t want their wives in “their business” if he’s the one earning all the money.
Sad, I know. And if that’s something you’re dealing with, I’m SO sorry. (((HUG)))
If there are some control issues going on then it may be time to do some evaluating of your circumstances, your marriage and whether or not this can be resolved through counseling or something.
And let me say this… my husband and I used to be very staunch Christians therefore, I know ALL about how marriage is typically approached from a Christian perspective.
The bible says husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, AND that he is to love her as he loves himself.
There should be a level of MUTUAL respect and honor.
So going back to what to do if your husband insists on excluding you from the household finances and any information regarding it…
1. Sit down and have a nice, long heart-to-heart with your husband.
Not an argument, but a mature discussion letting him know you feel it’s important that he give you more insight into how finances are handled.
Express to him your feelings and basically inform him:
ANYTHING can happen and, God forbid, should anything happen to him:
- your name needs to be on the accounts
- you need to know how to handle the budget and the bills – is he mailing payments or using auto-pay, etc.?
- you need to know what bank account (if he has multiple) the mortgage is paid through, and have access to that
Also, look into taking a class (physical or online) on finances and SHOW your husband that you’re just as capable of handling the family budget as he is… IF that’s an issue
I mean, even if you both mutually agree that he continue to handle paying everything, he can at LEAST allow you to be in the know.
And if all else fails…
2. Start making your OWN money, honey!
Listen, we are not living in the 50’s anymore where the husband went to work and gave his wife an allowance for home necessities or a new dress for herself. And you sure as hell aren’t a kid who needs an allowance from your mom or dad.
As a stay-at-home mom and wife myself, making the decision to have a home-based business was one of THE BEST decisions I could have ever made for myself and my marriage because there are no more arguments about money.
My income doesn’t pay the mortgage and all the bills (yet) but I have the money I need to:
- buy what I want or need…
- pay for things my kids need for school or…
- get Christmas & birthday gifts for loved ones
If you’re in a situation where your husband is controlling, again this is a much deeper issue that needs to be addressed. Worst case scenario, he may try to prevent you from making your own money or take whatever money you do make.
And in that case, you may wish to consider counseling or other help for your marriage in some form or fashion or… you may have other, more drastic decisions to make.
But if your marriage is GOOD in most areas, but you just have this one issue with household finances, then by all means… do the things I listed above in the bullets and strongly consider making your own money.
How?
There are many ways to go about making money from home. Some may be more or less appealing than others, but definitely beware of scams and schemes.
Here is a short, non-exhaustive list of ideas you can explore:
- Affiliate marketing
- Network marketing/Direct Sales
- Tutoring
- Create & market online courses based on something you know well
- Coaching
- Consulting
- Work at home job
- In-home daycare/after school care
- In-home hair styling (braids, updos, and other styling that doesn’t require licensure)
- Pet sitting
- Baking/cooking (use your own discretion since there are laws)
- Sell on Etsy, eBay, Amazon, etc.
- Write and publish books/ebooks
- Find ways to monetize your skills, talents, experience
There are a lot of things you can do to make money from home, you just have to do your research and find what will work best for you.
I’ve done various things that have allowed me to earn an income at home but one of the most lucrative is my home business. Perhaps you’d like to partner with me and if that’s a consideration, click the link below:
Learn what I personally do to make money from home!
'Til next time... bye for now!
To YOUR Success,
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